Wait, do I need a leash?

Hey all,

As you have read previously (I hope), I have moved into a new apartment and I'm super obsessed with it. One of the things I enjoy most about my apartment is the location because it is within walking distance of a lot of places, including my friend's places, which is mostly a good thing. Mostly. Let me explain.

In college when my friend Keegan and I lived in an apartment within walking distance of the downtown bars of Columbia, Missouri and our guy friend's house, I developed a little problem after drinking. After spending a Friday or Saturday (or Monday) night drinking there would be a point in the night where I needed to go home... immediately.... for no reason at all. My friends would try to talk reason into me saying rational things like "hey you should call a cab" or "hey just crash on our couch" or "hey wait until I finish my beer and we'll walk together in 20 minutes." All of these logical suggestions would fall on deaf ears and I would just hear the voice inside my head saying "run home run home run home." So I would pretend to go to the bathroom and then sneak out the back door and literally run home. In heels mostly. This habit of running away happened so frequently that my roommate Keegan could tell the exact facial expression I would make when I was about to run home. She would even warn whoever was around to block the exits. I once clawed my friend Matt's hand with my nails because he was blocking my escape. I regret nothing.

Now as a third year law student I would like to say I've matured past this illogical pattern. Nope.

Yesterday my neighbor-friend had a barbecue at his house and then we walked to Taco C after 6 hours of day drinking. I finished about 3/4 of my nachos and then, without explanation, I jumped up and ran across a four lane road to my apartment. I looked both ways before I crossed the street. I think.

My friends at college used to joke that they would get me a leash if my running away escalated to become a problem. I think it's time for me to invent/purchase an adult leash. I could sell it in Sky Mall catalogs next to the automatic refilling dog bowls. That catalog is FANTASTIC.

Excuse me, I need to go run home now....to take a nap. I did drink all day yesterday.