So today is the very first day of summer, which is dumb because I've been celebrating summer ever since May 16th when class was let out. Summer is a season where fun is to be had and clothes are to be shed in favor of swim suits, short shorts, tank tops and sun dresses. Living in San Antonio the weather is pretty much equivalent to what I expect Hades to feel like, so this lack of clothing is not only encouraged, it's necessary if you don't want to pass out walking from the parking lot of HEB to the actual store. I would rather some people in San Antonio wear more clothing, but I understand the reasoning.
My silent/sometimes vocal judgment of people who are carrying an extra dozen donuts or two in their mid-sections has inspired me to work out and eat correctly this summer so I don't have an anxiety attack the next time someone invites me to their pool to lay out or to float the river.
The working out aspect came easy, but eating right is so tricky so I'm analyzing some of the fad diets out there.
Weight Watchers: this is the one with the point system. You write down everything you eat and add up points. I guess you can eat anything you want as long as you measure it out? Points = Addition = Math = Dumb. I ruled out Weight Waters pretty quickly because I was the person who threw myself a large party when I finished my last math class in college. I wish I could count how many beers I had that evening, but I was boycotting math at that point. Also: kind of sick of hearing how much weight Jennifer Hudson has lost. It's been like 2 years, you look awesome, we get it. You also married a guy who was a contestant on "I Love you New York" famous ex of Flavor Flav. Judged.
Jenny Craig: I was drawn to Jenny Craig at first because let's face it, celebrity endorsements? Yes please! Mariah Carey, Kirstie Alley and Jason Alexander (what?) are telling me I too can lose weight with Jenny and then by proxy be best friends! Lies. Because then all your food is in these stupid tv dinner packages that make the french toast look like a post-it size bran pancake. Gross. These celebrities did not actually use Jenny Craig. I do not picture Mariah Carey, diva extraordinaire heating up her chicken parm in a microwave while Nick Cannon eats a steak. Nope.
Nutrisystem: Marie Osmond + food delivered to your house sounds awesome! But then it's the same thing as Jenny Craig. No, I do not want to eat tv dinners all day every day. Nope.
South Beach: actually I've done this one before and it's pretty good. Except for the first 2 weeks entails no drinking....what.....no drinking? When during summer can I portion out 2 weeks of no drinking? Also you can't eat carbs the first weeks either. What am I supposed to do when I'm home by myself not drinking? And now you tell me I can't have bread to comfort me being agoraphobic? Rude.
Cookie Diet? Not worth talking about. I saw the creator of that diet on Millionaire Matchmakers and he was a huge tool. That was enough for me to not consider that diet. I would give anything to be on that show. I guess I have to be a millionaire first. Dang.
So now I'm just modifying what I eat based mostly on the South Beach low-carb diet. But I still drink and eat bread sometimes (take that South Beach, bread is delicious!) Well if you're interested at all this is what I'm doing, I have no recommendations to say if this is right or not.
Breakfast: Either scrambled eggs with spinach, tomatoes and mushrooms with turkey sausage. Or Kashi Cereal or Oatmeal with yogurt if I'm lazy. Which is often.
Lunch: Tuna (or turkey sandwich) string cheese, apples, almonds, and sparkling water. I learned you have to drain the water from tuna to avoid other co-workers coming into your office and almost gagging while you eat your undrained tuna. Lesson learned. Sorry Jerry.
Dinner: Either soup of some sort, or shrimp with cooked veggies or chicken with cooked veggies, or wheat pasta with veggies....or cereal.
So there it is, I don't really have any concept if it's working, but my goal is to look good for the 2 weddings I have to go to in September...and maybe wear a slightly slutty costume for Halloween.....we'll see how this goes!
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